Sayings by Will Rogers
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
You can develop great mental discipline, if you just put your mind to it.
-- Lisa Lindeman
Whenever I fell blue... I start breathing again.
-- Source unknown
Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
-- Lily Tomlin
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself is it considered a hostage situation?
How can you prove you're not crazy to people who are?
Are left-handed people the only people in their right minds?
Is it possible for reality checks to bounce?
Don't we all experience moments absolutely free from worry? You know those times when total panic sets in?
Researchers have found that pessimists have the same blood type: B negative.
-- Stan Kegel
Why can't there be a quick and easy cure for impatience?
-- Ossie Michelin
I was walking through the park with my husband when I spotted a kitty and meowed to it. My husband pretended to write on an imaginary notepad, and said, "Hmm... thinks she is a cat." I pretended to write on a notepad, "thinks he is a psychologist."
-- Lisa Lindeman